Conversation on the Battlements
by we make ourselves immortal
Summary: This is a snippet of conversation that Jon has with Sansa after The Battle of the Bastards. He says what he can but there is much more that he cannot say. This has turned into a conversation between both characters and now a poem by Sansa.
1. Chapter 1

Conversation on the Battlements

Snow was falling as Jon and Sansa walked out onto the high battlements of Winterfell to talk. It was freezing, but this was the only place to talk in confidence. It was also home, where they had run along these ramparts as children. Jon hoped this would give him courage to really speak to her. Snowflakes were starting to gather on Sansa's hair and eyelashes. Jon wanted to reach up and brush them away, but he was sure that neither of them were ready for that.

"Sansa, I want to tell you something. I'm not good with words that aren't orders. Please understand."

"Jon, of course, what is it?"

"When we were discussing the battle with Ramsey, I promised to protect you. You said "No one could protect you." When you said that, something inside me began to twist into a knot. I should have said something like… it broke my heart but, it was a tightness not a shattering."

"I didn't say it to hurt you. I was so afraid. I couldn't go back to Ramsey."

"I wanted to tell you that I would tear him apart for you. I would stand against him with no armies behind me. For you. I was determined to take back Winterfell and hand it to you. Just to see a small bit of happiness return to your eyes."

"I wanted our home back. Ramsey was a monster. I wanted to pray but I think I have forgotten how."

"The only prayer I know is you."

There was so much more he wanted to say. It just wouldn't come. He was hesitant, wondering how this new mix of feelings might sound to Sansa. Instead it ran over and over in his head as they stood there quietly watching the snow….

"Sansa, you are my Winterfell. When I drew my sword, it was for you. Each man I killed was for you. Breaching the gate, was for you. I might have pounded Ramsey to a bloody pulp over you. But, he didn't belong to me to kill. Father said "The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword." He was yours to do with as you pleased. So I stopped, before I killed him in my rage for every pain he caused you.

This is all for you. Unfurl every banner, hang the Direwolf high. I would rebuild every wall, stone by stone with my bare hands for you. I will restore every keep and place a fire in every hearth so you never feel the cold again. I wish it possible to turn back the moons and fix our histories. Our family should never have left. But, that was not our fate.

I ask you again, to accept my promise to keep you safe. No man will ever touch you without your consent. You don't even realize what you are to me. You are my home. You are my life now. Standing here with you is a dream, I never thought would come true. I beg you to trust me, as your brother, your sworn sword, and as the one who lives for your every smile, your every look.

Why did I even come back? I don't know. But when you arrived at Castle Black, I knew where my future lay. With you. I will not leave you. You hold my heart in your hands. I know not the future nor will I try to predict. For this perfect moment know that I am yours, however you shall have me. I stand here with the Lady of Winterfell. Let it be known, the Bastard of Winterfell has taken back their home for his Lady.


	2. Chapter 2

Conversation on the Battlements

"The only prayer I know is you."

Sansa caught her breath stunned by the pounding in her heart. Somehow this was what she wanted to hear. She had wanted to hear words like that all her life from someone who would love her without need for alliances or politics. Without hesitation over the past. Someone who would love her regardless of everything that had shamed her. And now, she was hearing these words from her half brother. Wish that the gods would strike her dead now, so she would have at least one moment of happiness, since they rode away from Winterfell, so long ago.

In the cold and snow today, she remembered watching Jon walk down the steps at Castle Black and she thought, _Never… never has anyone come to me with open arms. Never was I willing to run into those arms and be held forever until now. Would that he could hold me and the past disappear, if I closed my eyes and heard only his breath. Please don't let me go. Jon, don't ever let me go. At that moment with the snow falling around us, I knew that winter would arrive soon. And I knew that if there was anyone in this world I should trust, that I could give my soul to, what little I have left, it would be Jon._ _I didn't know how to say it. Words fail me still. My brother, my brother, only half my blood. Blood of my father. blood of the Kings of Winter. Even as children I knew there was good in him, no matter what they said about bastards. I was so young. He was never mine. Jon belonged to Robb and Arya. Now the man I see beside me, the man who made me Lady of Winterfell, the man who is King in the North; he is a true Stark. Does the last name even matter? How many have I had? Stark, Lannister, Bolton, and Stark again. Imagine the cycle of the moon, it begins and ends repeating the same over and over. He is as true a man as I could ever wish for to stand beside me. There is no one who could rule the North save Jon. I don't know how to tell him how proud I am to stand beside him as Lady of Winterfell. If this is wrong by the gods, perhaps it is true we have lived beyond the gods. Perhaps, it is my wishful thinking. Every time our eyes meet, he holds my gaze trying to tell me what is in his heart. I know he cannot because he feels the same. Do we both want what we should not have? There are no other Starks. Rickon is dead. Our baby brother, I can remember Jon bouncing him on his knee. All I wish, with all my tears, is that one day I will hear laughter again in our home. A child's laughter in the solar and I will turn to see John bouncing our own son on his knee._


	3. Chapter 3

Sansa's Request

if you would lay your head in my lap

if you would close your eyes

breath with me

let me lay my hand

on your heart

to know its beating

let me hold your soul

to my lips whispering a caress

let me brush my eyelashes

along the curve of your cheek

to know your wishes

let your arms encircle me steady and strong

imagine our own snowbound world

where the gods are blind

what I desire is your desire

love each for the other

is a rare thing

in this moment of calm

winter comes with no sound

but our breath and the duet of hearts


	4. Chapter 4

Confession In The Lord's Chamber

Maybe it was a trick of the light, but something in Sansa's eyes changed. Their blue seemed to shift like water caught in a current, then lay calm. She looked wistful as if she was remembering something precious. Sansa seemed to be about to speak. Jon reached up and touched her cheek. Her hand intuitively covered his, their fingers intertwining.

"Come my Lady, it is too cold for even us Northerners.

"Yes, you are right. Come with me to the Lord's Chambers. We have much to say to each other."

Sansa tightened her grip on Jon's hand and pulled him inside through the dimly lit halls toward the chamber he had insisted she claim as Lady of Winterfell. Inside the fire was mere embers.

"Allow me to rebuild the fire. You should never be cold."

Sansa reluctantly released his hand and went to the table in the middle of the room to pour some wine for each of them. Jon added logs from the stone hearth and stoked the fire until it roared. When he finished, he turned back to Sansa. She had removed her wet cloak and was standing there in his favorite dress, the one with the embroidered Dire wolf on the bodice. He shrugged off his cloak and hung it onto a hook next to hers. They matched. She handed him the goblet and motioned for him to sit beside her near the fire.

"Your eyes belie you. What is troubling you, that I may challenge it?"

"Jon… I believe we must speak our truths now, before I am unable to say this to you and the moment is lost, never to be recovered. We both want what we should not have."

"It is undeniable and we must speak it. You know, I wish never to hurt you. I would die over and over at the hands of every traitor before I let anyone touch you. I challenged Ramsey, man to man, sword to sword, bastard to bastard just to have the satisfaction of killing him to avenge your honor."

"I know along of the cords of my heart what you need to say to me. It is in mine as well. Are we not beyond right and wrong, after all we have endured? You are all that I have. Yes, we have our home. You have defied the world for me."

"You speak true. What I need to say to you will escape me, if I do not let it out. Sansa, you alone are my Winterfell. I am your warrior. I am yours. You hold the world in your hands as well as my heart."

"And you rebuilt my broken heart piece by piece. So gently. I am lost to the depth of my need for you."

"Need you say…..? What of family, honor, duty? What of love? I am your brother, though only half. Snow, Stark none the less. Blood."

"Fate makes fools of us both."

"How can I love you? Is that what you ask? Have I not rode with you into the battle to face Ramsey? Have I not been with you every step of this journey home? Have I not stood beside you as your Lady, my King? You are home to me. It is your presence, your promise to protect me, that makes our home again. Not just the hanging of our sigil. The banners are hung now and the Direwolf flies from the battlements. If there's any place in this world where I can be safe, it is here with you. Not just with you, but in your arms. Remember the way it felt when you held me at Castle Black? That was the first time in so long, that I felt safe. I could hardly admit it, not even to myself. I didn't know how to allow myself the luxury of thinking I might be safe. And I didn't know how to tell you, that only you could keep me safe. I didn't have the words."

"Do you not realize, you are my Winterfell? Without you, everything I have done is meaningless. I will never leave you. I promise. You have given me a reason to rise up and live, to love you. True born you are, MY Lady of Winterfell. I know you made me King in the North. Only love makes a bastard into a king. I can do nothing without you. You must give me your hand before the heart tree. Swear to be mine as I have sworn every night, through all of this, that I am yours."

"All this time, all I wanted was to be yours."

"So, it shall be, fates be damned."


	5. Chapter 5

The King in the North Commands

Ser Davos heard the determined pace of the Lord Commander's boots coming toward his solar. Jon threw open the door. No, all that was in the past. Jon standing in his solar was real though. How things had unfolded for them all.

"Yes, Your Grace, what is it?"

"Ser Davos, find the Maester. Let the ravens fly, summon all my bannermen. I have a task at hand."

"And tell them what?"

"I don't care what you tell them but, to come, if they wish. The King in the North must have his queen?"

"What queen?"

"I am to make Lady Sansa, my queen, in the Godswood on Winter Solstice. With them or without them."

"Wait, Your Grace, what are you saying?"

"I am saying, I've lost my mind but, found my soul cradled in her hands."


	6. Chapter 6

In The Godswood

On the night of Winter Solstice, the longest night, Jon stood in the Godswood. Tormund stood beside him. The path from the castle to the Godswood was lit with flickering candles. Snow was just beginning to fall in large flakes that hung in the air and glimmered in the candlelight. Jon paced in front of the tree. _What if she changed her mind? What if she saw the madness in this or…._

Then she was there. At the entrance to the Godswood in a grey dress embroidered with a red wolf on the bodice surrounded by white snowflakes. There was Sansa, escorted by Ser Davos. From behind the tree, someone thrust a new white fox cloak into his hands. He heard a young but forceful voice.

"Did you forget the words? You forgot the cloak!"

"Who comes? Who comes before the gods? "Jon asked.

Ser Davos began. "Lady Sansa of House Stark, Princess of Winterfell, Wardeness of the North, The Red Wolf, comes here to be wed. She is a woman grown and flowered, trueborn and noble, she comes to beg the blessings of the gods. Who comes to claim her?"

"I, Jon Snow of House Stark, Bastard of Winterfell, King in the North, Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North, The White Wolf. I claim her. Who gives her?"

I, Sansa of House Stark, a woman grown, do give myself freely to this man, Jon Snow of House Stark.

Jon stepped forward. In accordance with the ancient ritual they chose to follow, he placed the white fox cloak over her shoulders, his hands trembling. Sansa took his hands in hers. She met his gaze and they stepped forward to the heart tree and knelt in front it. This was when they were supposed to pray, but instead Sansa spoke aloud.

"What I desire is your desire. Love, each for the other is a rare thing in this world. Let me lay my hand on your heart to know its beating. Let me hold your soul."

"You hold my soul in your hands, given freely. Let my arms encircle you steady and strong. Let me keep you in safety, every day of your life. Know that winter is here, and we stand in this sacred place to bind ourselves to each other. I am yours. I can belong to no other. You are mine, if you will have me." Jon replied sensing they were making their own ceremony.

"I will have only you and keep faith with you alone. I am yours, with all my sorrows and scars, if you will have me. You are mine, you are my home, my comfort and my love beyond the bounds of reason.

"Know that I would tear the kingdoms of this world apart for you. I would pull the stars from the sky and I would bend the course of time, just to kiss you."

"Will you please kiss your queen, Your Grace!" giggled Lady Mormont from behind the tree. "I'm freezing!"


End file.
